Is saying "yes" worth it?

 

I'm not going to lie, I've never understood why I say "yes" to things.

I've always found that quality super annoying, to be honest. Phrases like "why did I agree to that" and "oh, I can already tell this is a bad idea" pretty much live rent free in my head, at this point. And, on especially bad days, I can look back on a multitude of things I said "yes" to, with immense regret.

These are experiences, and even people, that caused me a great deal of pain.

Even if they yielded some genuinely positive moments or I could justify them with an event or personal victory, I still find myself wishing that those things or meeting those people had never happened.

That line of thinking can begin to weigh on a person- it certainly does on me. One can begin to wonder if the price of being proactive, and opening up your heart, is even worth it...

That logic is so pervasive, in fact, that it can begin to infect and tarnish brand new things- things that would have once excited and inspired. All this happens because of the pain of the past "yesses" and the fear that this could turn in to one, too.

And I really, really hate that.

-

There's a spider making a web in this coffee shop.

Right as I'm writing this, it's building one, spanning the great distance between two shoots of bamboo.

It occurs to me, that the spider does not consider whether or not making the web is in it's best interest. It doesn't stop and remember the past webs that fell apart or were lost to wind and rain. It just does it. It makes the web because that's why it was put on this earth.

The web is it's purpose.

Forgive me for drawing such a sharp line in the sand:

I am here to create art and to be good to people.

I am here to be kind and to share what I have with those in need.

And in order to do that, I have to be kind to myself, as well.

Nothing- no experience, no person, no regret- nothing is going to keep me from doing good and moving forward.

That is my purpose: to keep learning and creating, all the while being the best person I can be.

And when I'm reminded of the past, as I tackle the projects of today, I will do all I can to simply remember that I can only be who I am right now. The weight of past failures and the pain of previous betrayals, has no bearing- it has NO power- on who I see in the mirror, today.

This Terribly Cool website, all the things that I am doing, are an extension of my purpose and my purpose will never, ever, go away. It is here to stay.

So, with that, I encourage you to do the same: find your passion and hunt it down, mercilessly. And when you are beaten by waves on all sides, when the people you love the most let you down or discourage you, do not yield. This is yours and they cannot take it away from you.

As with all things, I'm maintaining an immense energy, a patient momentum, and an unbreaking resolve.

Onward,

Sol Bouquet